In the span of three months, I went from being a stay-at-home-mom to a working mom, and now back to the former. I spent much of my “working mom” days longing for the simplicity of my stay-at-home-mom schedule, my daughter’s snuggles and the ability to actually clean my house and have enough time to put my mascara on.
There are pros and cons to anything, of course, but when it comes to balancing friendships with those not on the same “side” as you, this is where the real challenge lies.
I now spend much of SAHM schedule longing for, well, how can I put this…
I am desperately longing for my working mama friends to understand that I have NOT emotionally jumped ship. That I am still very much in-tune with “the struggle.”
You see, in just a short time, I have found that whichever side of the rainbow I find myself on, whether I’m in my work attire or my workout clothes, there seems to be a great divide. Only the pots of gold at the end of each side seem to be entirely different.
While working, my baby enjoyed the benefits of day care socialization, and I enjoyed the benefits of a steady paycheck. While home, my baby enjoys a life of all things “mommy” – music classes, play dates, and much less sniffles, while mommy enjoys a life of all things “baby”, music classes, playdates and much less sniffles (Oh, and a few hundred walks around Target each week).
For so long, I was the friend not able to join the play groups, the music classes and the casual walks around the park. My group text thread was silent. My social life, well, dead.
It felt horrible to no longer be able to join the group for play dates, tote my baby along to mommy and me classes, lunch with other mommy friends or just take a stroll in the mall. I felt a giant surge of jealousy coarse through my veins like a $10 Whole Foods smoothie from days past, each time I responded to an invitation with, “I can’t, I have to work.” I sometimes found myself avoiding social media on my really stressful days, just to avoid the stinging realness of my reality.
Now I’m home and some of those same Mom’s have switched sides with me. Because I too, felt the pangs of Mom-guilt, I know exactly what they’re thinking when I call them in the early evening hours… “Of course she has time to call, she’s been home all day.”
And they are totally justified in their feelings… it was not long ago that I felt the same way. That I wished I could have it just a bit easier. That I could find the time to pick up my dry cleaning once a week instead of once a month
Life is certainly easier now, but it would be much more enjoyable without the great divide.
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Michelle Dempsey, Keeping motherhood real… and kind.
A writer, entrepreneur, radio host, and powerful motivational speaker – Michelle Dempsey, owner and founder of Michelle Dempsey, Very Well-Written, has one goal in mind: empowering women from all walks of life with her incredible personal life story of overcoming adversity and using the lessons learned to achieve success. Internationally published and known for her ability to connect with readers on a deeper level, Michelle has successfully united her passion for business and writing and developed a thriving career, offering writing and editing services, business coaching, branding expertise, and content marketing to business of all kinds.
