So, that baby is finally in your arms! Congratulations on the arrival of your little love. There is nothing so wonderful and exhausting as new motherhood.
Here are my top tips for not only surviving this stage, but thriving in it.
1. Adjust Your Expectations About Baby’s Sleep Schedule
So and so’s baby might sleep through the night at 6 weeks, but that doesn’t mean yours will. In fact, it’s extremely unlikely. When we start to compare our babies with everyone else’s babies, we set ourselves up for disappointment. My firstborn slept through the night as soon as I brought him home! Then after a week or two, he started waking up a lot and didn’t sleep through again until he was 3 years old!
There is no race to this milestone, and even though it’s exhausting, a change in expectations will make it a little easier. This post from KellyMom about normal infant sleep studies is a good place to start.
2. Sleep When You Can!
Speaking of sleep deprivation, everybody will tell you to sleep when your baby sleeps and you’ll probably smile and nod while in your head you’re thinking, “Yeah, right! Do you see the state of this house?!”
Plus, what if you have a toddler or other children? Sleeping when the baby sleeps isn’t always a possibility. Here are 8 ways from BabyCenter to get more sleep.
3. Sound Advice
Along with the sleep advice, you’ll have advice coming at you from all angles. Parents, friends, the woman behind you in line at Target, the internet, everybody wants to tell you how best to raise that baby. Most people mean well, and some of it will be really good advice, but it can definitely get overwhelming.
Tune into your body. Does the advice make a peaceful feeling settle in your heart or give you an uneasy feeling in your stomach? Following your intuition is often the best path. You just need to learn to listen to it. There is nobody better suited to raise your baby than you.
4. Take Care of Yourself
Remember that your needs matter, too. This is a hard one for new moms because we are so focused on meeting baby’s needs 24/7. Don’t forget what made your soul come alive before you had a child. Make time for that. Discover new soul-filling activities. Find ways to have fun, laugh, and do what makes you happy every day.
One of the things your baby needs most is a happy mother. I wish I’d have known that sooner.
5. Break Time
Give yourself a break, and I don’t just mean physically. I’m talking emotionally and mentally, too. Let the guilt train pass you by. Honestly, it will make frequent stops at your station, but you don’t have to get on. Show yourself some radical compassion and love.
6. Find Your Tribe
The key to thriving is having other moms to relate to. Look for local groups in your area by checking meetup.com, the La Leche League, churches, and libraries.
I feel like we alienate ourselves too much partly because we think we have to only associate with like minds. While you definitely need a few like-minded friends, there is value in every mother out there.
