You’re pregnant! Or you’re trying to get pregnant! Either way, close and extended family will want to give you loads of unsolicited pregnancy advice and you’ll need to find a way to set boundaries.

While declining unsolicited pregnancy advice from strangers is fairly simple, rejecting it from loved ones poses some challenges. We usually value our family members’ opinions more than those of strangers. And even if we disagree with them or prefer to keep some of your family planning details private, we want them to know we care about and love them.

So how do you draw clear boundaries and maintain your sanity when it seems like everyone else wants to tell you what’s best for you and your baby?

Say "Good for Them, Not for Me"

Sometimes it can seem like other people have it all figured out. If you have a sister, a cousin (or even a celebrity who constantly appears on your Facebook newsfeed) who seems to have the perfect life, with the perfect partner and pregnancy to match, remember that there’s usually more than meets the eye.

Your sister may have had a great natural birth in a kiddie pool, while your coworker had an emergency c-section with no complications, and Chrissy Teigen appeared unscathed on social media after delivering her baby. People will want to share their experience and give pro-tips, which can certainly be helpful, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to replicate someone else’s pregnancy experience.

Accept that Times Have Changed

When we mention modern parenting philosophies, infant health concerns, or innovations to our parents, we’ve all heard the threadbare argument, “You turned out okay, didn’t you?”. Maybe your mom did an outstanding job raising you. Perhaps you think there’s room for improvement. Either way, things have evolved a bit over the course of a generation. 

If your parents are prone to giving unsolicited pregnancy advice, explain that times have changed. Explain that you still love them and value your relationship but that you will be the mother of your child, not them.

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